The Last Man on Earth
by The Crow and the Butterfly
Summary: Or the last two in the DA room, anyway.   Temporarily back for May Madness - Be amazed!


I know, I know. I didn't see anything more from me coming either. But the damn May Madness thing made me feel all guilty and no one appears to have written for Tsubasa yet. Explore new pairings, guys. And by "new pairings" I mean Tsubasa/Misaki/Tono because I will love you.

But I've forgone Misaki and Tono this time and stuck in Rui because it was the first idea I had.

Any brief references to those missions to catch Yuka way back before there were even a hundred chapters will probably not contain a shred of canon knowledge.

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><p>He was just about ready to tear his hair out. Or Rui's, maybe.<p>

Kicking his feet up on a table, Tsubasa tilted his chair back on two legs and yawned. He stared up at the ceiling, pointedly not looking across the room where Rui Amane was stretched out on the couch, twirling a strand of hair around one finger to see if it would curl.

The ceiling didn't have much to hold his interest, and Tsubasa felt a sharp pang of longing for the Special Abilities class. There was always something going on there. Even if they didn't bother having real class, they'd play a game or talk or make fun of Tono. The room was full of life. When he thought on it a bit he figured that ought to be his reason, but, not being in the mood for sentimentality, it was mainly that all his friends were there and Rui wasn't.

"I heard a story once," said Rui through the stifling silence, "about someone who fell off their chair that way. They caught the back of their skull on a table and it levered it right off."

Tsubasa started to say something, but caught himself and returned to his methodical ignoring.

"I'm only worried about your skull," Rui added.

"Don't be," muttered Tsubasa. "It's gotten this far. Who told you that, anyway?"

"Hajime."

"You mean he talks?"

"Why wouldn't he talk?"

"I mean, with the bandages and all, you'd think it'd obstruct-"

Rui chuckled as he pushed himself fully upright. "Maybe he just doesn't like you."

"Like everybody else in this class, big deal." Tsubasa sighed, falling forwards in his chair and turning to face Rui halfway. "Where have they all gone, anyway? At least if anyone else is here you've got something else to look at."

"Dunno." Rui waved a hand airily. "Natsume's probably skipping; maybe You-chan's with him. Missions are picking up. If this Z woman doesn't get caught soon, I'm going to go mad. Don't know where Nobara could have gone."

There was a silence.

"I hate this," said Tsubasa shortly.

"As long as they're not sending me anywhere," Rui shrugged, "then I don't really mind."

Tsubasa scoffed. "Only because I'm the only one here."

"Not for long, I bet. They're shuffling us in and out like nobody's business." Sighing, Rui watched him through his overlong bangs. "We _could_ take advantage of it, you know."

"God!" Tsubasa's head jerked up and he very nearly tumbled out of his chair. "That's sick!"

"Must you always assume the worst?" asked Rui, affronted. "I just meant that we could use some bonding time. Get to know each other."

"Ew."

"I meant talk! My God, just talk!"

Tsubasa paused, considering. "Like I said. Ew."

There were a few moments of silence, and then Rui pushed himself off of the couch and strode purposefully across the room.

"I don't like you," said Tsubasa worriedly, glancing around at the exits in case he had to bolt. "Do we need to go over this again? I don't, and I never will, and you should probably just quit it."

"Relax." Rui sat down on the coffee table and leaned forwards on his elbows, his eyebrows arched. "I'm not going to touch you, okay?"

"Could've fooled me."

"Why?"

"The whole… You know…"

"Gay?"

"Yeah, that's probably part of it. The gay thing kind of scares me."

Rui grinned widely. "Oh, yeah, we're all pedophiles out to corrupt the nation's children. You know. We've been trying to keep it on the down-low, but people still talk."

"It's really more of the cursing little boys thing that worries me, I have to say," replied Tsubasa coolly. "Ever plan on taking it off?"

"Nah." Rui shrugged noncommittally. "Why?"

"Because it's creepy and weird and…" Tsubasa bit his lip. "I just don't like it, okay? You're totally insane!"

"Am I?"

"Yes!" exclaimed Tsubasa, his eyes so wide that Rui found it vaguely disturbing. "You are! You are _absolutely, undeniably insane_! Have you ever thought about getting checked out? I'm completely serious."

Rui rolled his eyes. "Look around, for a second. Do you really think they'd provide mental health services?"

Slightly deflated, Tsubasa slumped his shoulders. "Nah. Sure, whatever."

There was more silence.

"Are you sure?" asked Rui. "Not even if I were, say, the last man in the world?"

"Of course not," replied Tsubasa.

"If it changes anything," he added, "I don't think Harada would either if it were you."

Tsubasa glared. "Don't even. Don't bring it up. Just no."

They looked at each other for a second.

"And you're su-"

"Yes."

Rui sighed, running his fingers through his hair. Tsubasa yawned again, tipping his chair back on two legs.

More silence.

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><p>Care to review, darlings? It makes me feels special.<p>

TCATB is out.


End file.
